"All or Nothing"

DESCRIPTION: inspired by me not trusting my friends to actually like me. seeing praise as praising a false self, and that if they saw the "real me" (whatever that is) then surely they would insult it. and yet i don't really know if they know the "real me" or not. i guess it's moreso born out of the fear of... if i stop working hard to please other people, they'll eventually stop liking me. so ultimately, it's a bond built on self-sacrifice and lies, and that they would be better off with someone else who is naturally gifted with the traits they like in me. because if nobody else has praise me, made me a god yet, then i'm probably not worth anything at all over other peoples' time. so i really don't get it... it's confusing. it's "all or nothing," really. if i'm lovable, everyone would love me and would have already said how i'm perfect in every way. if i'm unlovable, then this is just a facade that you like for no reason. i think it's probaly illogical, but i guess that's the underlying fear/feeling

it's all or nothing, your beautiful game
writing your rules for people to play
if it doesn't please? you won't get sales
and if you succeed? you won't [go to jail.]

it's all or nothing, your beautiful dress
hoping to get married, you paid the price in advance
if it doesn't go through? what a waste~
what a shame my child, [you tried your best.]

and still----- nothing (nothing)
nothing (nothing)
nothing happened at all ---- [put harmonies here]

and still-----nothing(nothing)
noo----thi---(ng)----thing(!!!!)---------
------XXXXXXXXXXX---------

[WILL REMAIN AFTER THIS.]

it's gonna go to waste, what a shame, what a shame
all those beautiful moments we shared, [冒せ] (desacrate)
as the truth is revealed, these walls will crumble and
you'll see what's under the veil

of my lies and my fiction, of my smiles and deception
yes! 化けの皮を現わせ (show my true colours)
nothing will be left, i know, so i'll already let go, my--

--friend......!

- - - - - - - -
- - - -- - -
- - -x- - - -x- -x-
XXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!

it's all or nothing, my beautiful life
the things i do, i see in black and white
if it doesn't succeed? try again with
a new person i'll keep on playing pretend

it's all or nothing, the words you say
if you don't agree, then [JUST GO AWAY!!!]
were they deserved? not really. and-
yet anything below "the best" is far too plain

for me----- nothing (nothing)
nothing (nothing)
nothing is worth happening

because if you see it plainly, my pathetic self, then--
i don't want you anymore, so talk to someone else...!

--------XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX-------------

[[I don't want your love if I'm still the odd one out]]

it's gonna go to waste, what a shame, what a shame
all those beautiful moments we shared, [冒せ] (desacrate)
as the truth is revealed, these walls will crumble and
you'll see what's under it all

really, i don't know what's underneath
i haven't seen my own face in years.
i wonder if the scars that you've carved into me
have become 自分のALL

really, i don't know what to say
i'm just creeped out by your compliments...!
because nobody's said something like that before
so i'm pretty sure it's a lie

because nobody's said something like that before
i'm going to call it a lie, and [say it, my very own]---

X--- x- -x---XXX---------x-
--- ["GOODBYE"] -XX --
-- XXX --------- -x--Xx--x-

* (I thought you didn't know...
but it looks like you already did....
And yet, still, I feel the need to say it...) *

...... *(goodbye) *