"Burnt Poem"

DESCRIPTION: it turned out messy again.. ahh... this is just worse Loser Girl by tuyu.. ugh. burn the poem to spite the page

i always used to think hobbyists were lightweights with a sense of ego
yeah, they probably think they're better from me just because they don't cash out
because i was jealous about their morality, i tried to force my mindset onto them
i thought they were being scammed and so taking my advice they burnt out

i always used to think professionals were people i should look up to
yeah, they get to live the lives of their dreams without paying mind to worklife
and yet i disregarded all the work they put in, all the times they crushed their souls
i forgot that people like that were just workers like me

this is a burnt poem, written from tradition and from dreams
the past and the present combine to form me
i wished i could be somebody that i was not
because i wanted you to know my name.

this is a burnt poem, written from loneliness and prayers
my loss and my earnings combine to form days
of wishing for a life i'll never have
because that life i wished for is something nobody's ever had.

i always used to think romantics were smug with their breakup songs
yeah, they blast them on the radio and try to make me empathise with them
because i was thinking they were giving into the society and hurting themselves
not realising that i was hurting myself with chains of false rebellion

i always used to think professionals were people i should look up to
yeah, they get to live the lives of their dreams without paying mind to worklife
and yet i disregarded all the work they put in, and thought if i just insulted the world
i would become free like them, but i just became a slave to hate instead

this is a wordless, world-less game of dreams
i thought foolishness would create a new me
turns out no matter how much i wish to be noticed
some people just won't like me anyway

this is a burnt poem, written from loneliness and prayers
my loss and my earnings don't matter here
i refused to shoot my shot because i didn't want to lose
i wanted a perfect streak because i didn't want to be

didn't want to be
didn't want to be
someone who lost to society

because i was just
i was just
destroying the whole world to
destroy the ones who hurt me